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Sept 16
Think of family or
friends to have be a part of this journey with you.
Genesis
2:18 "Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I
will make a helper who is just right for him.'
Think of
a few family members or friends that help and care for you. Ask them to be a
part of this journey with you. Ask them to hold you accountable and encourage
you along the way.
A few years ago, I was so, so lonely. I was a young mom but
unable to join mothers groups or do playdates at the park due to working
fulltime. Playdates at the park at 10am was the kind of mom I thought I would
be and it was hard navigating the young years with a strong-willed toddler
without any other moms doing the same around me. This is not to say that I
didn’t have great people in my life. At the time I had wonderful coworkers
while working at a nonprofit. We handled difficult phone calls and letters and
so everyone in our dept was hired because they had skills in discernment and
empathy. I received daily encouragement and prayer from them. But something was
still missing.
I knew this when I was cleaning out my library one day and
discovered three copies of the book The
Friendships of Women. Uh, hello. Yeah, when I collect books on the same
theme (or even the same book in this case!), there is clearly something lurking
beneath the bookshelves. Not long after that, I remember running into a woman
from church named Barb and in the course of our conversation, saying to her,
“I’m just so lonely.” She replied that she would be my friend if I need and
gave me a big hug. She and I couldn’t have been more opposite in life stage,
she being a single in middle age and me a young mom. But I was so grateful for
the hug and it was a relief to verbalize that feeling.
I began praying and praying and praying for deep
friendships. For people to do life with me. I longed for people to really know
me enough to laugh and cry and understand why I might be upset from everything
including losing a coupon for Target to Jeff’s loooong ordination process that
took us years to walk through.
God answered these prayers. He really did. I look back and
see the handful of my people God sent in that time since declaring my
loneliness aloud. They joined my journey at different times. They know me. All
I have to do is text and they come running (or texting back). While I was in
Kansas for a year, God gave me a huge gift in my friend Jessica. I did some of
those playdates and we shared meals together with our families on pretty much a
weekly basis. Okay, you bring the meat
this week; I’ll bring the beer. Out of this or that before we grill? We’ll go
get those things together. Load the kids in the minivan. Also, have you seen
the newest product at Trader Joe’s?
Even though I’ve been back in CO for three years, Jess and I
still talk on almost a weekly basis and text several times a week. If I’m
cracking up over a text, it’s usually her. She is also fantastically indignant
on my behalf over mostly everything. She has fought for me when I was attacked
on Facebook and she sends the best articles. She lets me rail about authors and
books and joins sometimes too. Last week one of her texts began with these
words: “Feminist win of the day!” and then she proceeded with an awesome story
about telling off a misogynistic plumber. You go, sister! All the emoticons
coming your way.
Another person I’m likely to text regularly is Christy.
Christy is my fashion consultant who took me shopping when I was going through
my Wear I Am crisis last year. She helped me find clothing that say ME and she
even created a personal color pallet based on my fashion board on Pinterest.
Christy attends our church and lives in our neighborhood, which is fun. She brings
me snacks in the form of Pringles, texts me when she’s on her way to Target
midweek in case I need anything, and encourages me in my job. Her gifts in
leadership and creativity are off the charts and I am blessed by her regular
presence in my life.
There are others: Rebekah patiently listens to my journey of
church planting and banters with me about who is winning in MasterChef. Jenna
regularly texts just: “How are you?” and watched Keller for us last spring. Vicki
helps me watch out for my kids too. She knows my little ones inside and out (having
taught my oldest child in those strong-willed years) and encourages me as a
mom. I’m blessed once again with wonderful, understanding coworkers too. I
already know these people will be with me on this Faith Challenge journey
because they are there in my life.
I believe there was something important about verbalizing my
loneliness that day to Barb. God heard me. Barb and I didn’t become best
friends but I see her from time to time. She still offers me hugs when I do.
I also got rid of all my copies of The Friendships of Women.
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