Here the truth of what I’m doing in this moment. Right now.
Today.
I’m sitting in a Starbucks with a lump in my throat because
I want so very badly to write a blog post and the tears are seconds from
flowing. Today has been just such a Wednesday, which included fixing a mistake
I made on a project, forgetting to leave Kaelyn’s car seat for Aunt Susie to
take the girls to Chick-fil-a (heard about that one via a phone call!),
attending two parent teacher conferences, finally finishing lunch at 3pm,
running (running!) Kyla to soccer practice, calling the doctor’s office nine
minutes before they close to make an appointment for next week, and getting
ready to grab dinner on my way to a church plant meeting after I get Kyla.
There is so very little left of this lady who is also almost
thirty-one weeks pregnant with baby number three.
But I’m writing. I’m making my fingers move across the keys
(and telling you all of my problems with Wednesday, I guess) because it’s the
only remedy I know for the lump in my throat. It’s the only way I know to loosen
up my mind, and my heart, and my words stored up that need to be come out. When
I’m not creating, I feel empty. I need to create. I need to write.
So, here we go…
Did you know I completed two internships in college? It’s
true. I had two distinct passions and though I can see how they overlap,
it required me to complete two summers in a row doing two different types of
work.
The first of the internships was as an administrative
assistant at my church. I took phone calls, attended staff meetings, watered
plants, and transcribed my pastor’s sermons. I have fond memories of that
summer. I only got paid $40 a week. But at the end of the summer, the church
took an offering and I was blessed with quite a big paycheck. I remain grateful
for those allowed me to share a testimony about my summer from the pulpit and
who gave to support me as I returned to school.
The following year, I was gaining confidence again in my
writing and editing skills. The summer before, when I worked at the church, another
woman on staff told me about her daughter-in-law who worked at Navigators. Then, sometime
in that year, my uncle gave me the name of a man who worked at Navigators. Turns
out the daughter-in-law and the man who knows my uncle worked together! I landed
an internship working in the communications department of Navigators. I loved
that job! So fun.
My first cubicle job. I wore my best skirts with my cardigan
sweater sets and scarves. As I recall, I could have worn jeans or dress pants
but most of the time I didn’t. I wanted to be seen as professional, mature, and
capable, I suppose. I am grateful for my editors and the fun team meetings we
held at The Ledge in Old Colorado City. I also discovered it’s very important
to proofread or else you might send out something to thousands of donors about
how their money went to rebuilding a damn instead of a dam.
I look back on both of those summers with fondness. I see
how God used those few months of my life to shape me into the person I am today.
I remain grateful for that as I work my current job in my
cubicle. I take seriously my call to faithfully teach children and families
about Jesus via curriculum and other written materials. I am looking forward to
leading a growing church plant on the east side of Colorado Springs, and
though I am so tired when I arrive to our meetings on Wednesday evenings, there is no other
place I’d rather be. I love our people. I love what God is allowing our family
to get to do in this season as we build, and pray, and listen for His leading
each day.
I hope over and over for the same for my girls. I pray for
that all the time. I want God to speak to them so that they are stepping into
who God made them to be even now.
Gratefully, I see this happening. Last weekend, we drove
past the History and Bible museum Jeff is working at temporarily. Kaelyn says,
“When I grow up, I’m going to work at that museum like daddy.” I should mention
this little girl loves and adores her daddy! Kyla corrected her and reminded
her the museum is only in our town for a few more months before it moves to
another place.
I chimed in with, “Kaelyn, you know that daddy is a pastor,
right? He leads our new church.”
She replies with, “Well then, I will be a pastor too. I will
be a girl pastor.”
Okay, then. She also informed me that day that she plans to
open a restaurant that serves pizza, tacos, burritos, and hot-mild sauce (that’s
what she calls Taco Bell sauce). It will be called the Mixture Restaurant.
Not more than an hour later, I found myself at Target with
the girls looking for Halloween costumes. Kae found her outfit right away but
we spent almost another hour wandering around for Kyla. She has a very specific
idea in mind to be a fairy on a cartoon she watches. I was having a hard time
picturing the outfit she was explaining.
I suggested we go home and watch part of the cartoon so I
could see the outfit. Well, first of all, Jeff and I have both watched this
show with the girls. But I had forgotten that when they change into fairies
that save the world (yeah…don’t ask….), they have outfits with next to nothing
on. Ummm…no kid. Not wearing that. (Besides the fact you’ll be cold!) Also,
their waist size is not human.
Trying not to get flustered, I finally asked, “What do you
like about this particular character?”
“She’s the leader!”
Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. So we talked about that a
bit and the conversation continued when Jeff got home later that evening. He
suggested we look for great women in church history and maybe have Kyla read about that some more.
Then, he tried to talk Kyla into being Queen Elizabeth.
She informed us she doesn’t like history.
Sigh.
After the girls were in bed, I searched on the internet for “great
women in church history” and you won’t believe what I found.
(continued in another post soon….) Update: You can read the next post here.
