I have to admit stepping into Advent has been hard for me this year.
I’ve been pondering its meaning for a couple of weeks while “all the cool kids” write about it. They seem to know something I don’t, and I feel like I should have this figured out by now.
I asked God to show me. Reveal what He wants me to know this year. And, instead of stepping into Advent, I kind of got thrown. Allow me to share a little about my week.
If you’ve read my recent posts, you know I’m trying to figure out what to do next job-wise. I have a possible project but no start date to go with it. There is no way to speed up the process either. It must unfold. Waiting.
On Tuesday, an organization dear to my heart took a major shift. Many people I love are affected by the change. The extent of the impact is unknown. We don’t know what will happen next. Waiting.
My best friend is pregnant and oh-so-sick. After being on bedrest for days, her husband rushed her to the emergency room this morning. As she takes new medication, all she can do is be still. And wait.
Maybe that’s why I’m not sure what to do with Advent 2011. Our family finally took a big step this year by moving to Kansas. I don’t want any more waiting. I like moving. Makes me feel like I’m in control.
Let’s discuss control for a moment as we think about what happened to young Mary. Talk with unexpected angelic presence in her house? Hmmm. Yeah, that most likely wasn’t on the daily to-do list. Give birth to the Savior of the world who is now growing in her womb? Probably not on her list of life-goals.
Yet, what could she do? Wait. Hope. Cling to her Lord. We, too, cling to what we know and more importantly Whom we know when unknown circumstances come our way.
When the news about the organization broke, I sent an article about the transition to my friend, Heather. Under it, I wrote:
I feel sad about it. But I also know God is so much bigger than this. His plan and purposes will prevail no matter what happens. I/we will be faithful to His kingdom.
Maybe that’s it. Yes, there is waiting. But there is also hope. Because we serve a mighty God who came as a small child. His purposes are bigger than the uncertainties. His kingdom is vast.
We trust in His timing. Not our own. We wait, sometimes with groaning, sighing, or tears, in anticipation for Him to come again. We don’t know when. We don’t know how things will work out now. But we wait. In the presence of lit and unlit candles, we wait.